Depleting Love

I'm getting impatient and getting easily irritated by him recently. I guess there's really a limited amount of love one can give. Like the natural resources the Earth has. It'll get depleted. When resources gets exploited, it just gets depleted. I tired of doing things for him. Since I can no longer doing stuff for him willingly and happily, I shall stop doing them. I shall just mind my own business and be happy. Why should I care whether he has clean clothes or ironed shirts to wear for work? I'm not his maid. Getting him to help is like having to move the mountain. I admit I'm lazy but he is much much much worse!! I seriously praying very hard that my son will not grow up to be like him.

My fren once told me not to post my unhappiness abt him on FB. Cos guys all want 'face'. They and their ego. I'm not tarnishing his image, I'm merely telling the truth. If he cares abt his 'face' den don't give me the opportunity to post such stuff on my wall for the world to see and know.

Reading my cousin's blog entry abt her DB whom she can't have feelings for. It made my eyes watery. Guys will only behave in that manner when they are courting you. Everything changes when they are with you. They just no longer pays attention to you.

"You don't like to eat this right?" Nah, actually I love it!!
Bring a cardigan for you? Nah, he brought it for himself.
Feeling cold in the cinema. You go find ways to warm urself.
Left you on your own while he mingles with his frens.
You can be honest and open with him but is he listening?

Mc贼

Looks like whining in my blog helps? Irritating Bb bought me Mc贼 last night :P 可怜的贼van has to be put up for auction. Still wanna thank Bro Bear for getting 贼van for me. I really really appreciate it :) If not for your statement saying why wanna keep 2 of the same kind I would have kept 贼van too :P Thanks again, Bro Bear!!

Irritating Bb said he had wanted to collect all 4 designs before giving them to me. But he saw my 'fierce' post yesterday he had no choice but to give me Mc贼 first. I said he's just finding excuses!! If he really wanted to get for me why wait till last minute den go and buy? (Yesterday was the last day for Hamburglar Kitty and he only bought it yesterday!!) He always likes to do such last min shit. Where got ppl propose 2 days before ROM? My irritating Bb lor!! He has to make me flare up den he'll do something abt it. Den he'll say I'm impatient and getting angry over small matter. WTH!

On our first year anniversary, he din make any plans. I quarreled with him den he ordered white lilies on the day itself and delivered it to my house and brought me out for dinner. He was lucky. Usually white lilies need to be pre-ordered.

He says I'm too impatient right? So I din say anything for Vday. I just kept quiet. As I expected, nothing happened. No dinner, no present, no flowers. Not even words of happy valentine's day from him! So when I don't make a fuss, I don't get anything. So was it really true like what he claimed that he had everything all planned out and I was too impatient to wait for his 'plans' to happen?? You be the judge.

The above are just some examples of him doing last min shit and trying to find excuses for the things he  failed to do. I'm really tired of having to make a fuss before he'll do something. I'm psychoing and making myself numb from him being like this. Deep down I know I still love him that's why I'll get upset over such stuff. One day when I'm totally numbed from all these will be the time when all love is gone. Only when love does not exist will one not care about what the other party did or did not do. That will be the time I'm the one doing the 'conveniently ignoring' stunt.

Conveniently Ignored

Sometimes I really don't understand what's going through his head. If hinting is not sufficient, I just tell him directly but he still can conveniently ignore what I said.

For example I whatsapp him this:

And added saying, "BB I want this!"

He didn't even reply me at all! When I asked him did he see what I sent him? He asked, "What did you send me?" He did receive it. It's there in his inbox BUT he just didn't see it. How conveniently been ignored.

This is just one of the incident.

I didn't receive anything from him on Christmas, Valentine's Day, Anniversary, whatever special occasion you can think of I don't receive anything from him! Yes! Nothing! I got the necklace on my bday bcos I asked for it and have to drag him down to the jewelry shop and got him to buy it for me! How pitiful :( He WILL NOT get me anything on these special occasions how can I even dream of him getting me little surprise gifts occasionally? It's harder than striking 4D!

I know he reads my blog. But did he do anything about it? NO HE WILL NEVER. He just hold onto his disclaimer: I am not the romantic type so don't expect such acts from me. F**k his disclaimer!!

I tried all ways and means to put it across to him how I wanted to be loved. But nothing works. Yes, he bought me herbal tea when I was sick. He passed me money when I am broke. But does he has to wait till I'm sick then he will show that he cares? Or wait till I got so stressed up with money and no job till I break down and cry then he realizes he needs to support me financially?

I asked him to watch the episode on knowing your spouse's lover language and speaking the language on Pillow Talk. He said he will do so but, as usual, he didn't. Some women enjoys being complimented by their partners. Some women enjoys receiving little gifts of surprise. Some women enjoys their partners doing things which they love with them. Being a typical Aquarius, I want a little of everything. I get bored easily hence I need varieties to keep me interested.

To me, I strongly believes that if the guy has the heart to speak his partner's lover language, he will do it. Irregardless whether he is the romantic kind or not! F**k his disclaimer again!!

Guys, you think it's difficult? No! Definitely not!! Just compliment her when she puts on a new dress. Get her a little gift when you are out. Take her out to do stuff SHE enjoys (not YOU enjoy!). I don't see what's so difficult about doing these! How do you naive guys think a relationship will sustain without putting in effort?? You only know how to complain how unreasonable we girls are. How demanding we are. But have you though about how much we have tolerated you guys as well? Tolerating your laziness, dirtiness, insensitiveness, and the list goes on.

I know after I post this, he would read it. But he'll continue to pretend he didn't read this and continue with his ignorance act.

Currently, I still do have positive balance in our love bank. Will till it depletes to zero and becomes negative, he don't regret.

Hope I Made the Right Decision

A follow up on my previous post. I thut I have made the decision but I was tempted by the $$$. The amount they offered me was more than what I had expected! So I decided to go for the one which offers me more $$$ and higher post. I hope I made the right decision. Keeping my fingers crossed!!!

Bathing him every morning is my favorite moment spent with him :)

I started 'preparing' BB Mck that I'm going to work soon. I'll stroke his hair and tell him to be good boy when mummy is out for work. He seems to understands what I'm telling him. He sticks to me like super glue after that. Seeing him like that makes me go awwww... I don't wanna go work le!!! BUT cannot!! No $$$ liao. Must learn to let go a bit. Hope he don't forget mummy and stick to nai nai after I start work :( I'll miss bathing him in the morning....

When I grow up I wanna be.....

(Source: Bad Teacher, Columbia Pictures)

What was your ambition when you were young? Teacher? I believe many of us wrote that in our compositions back in primary school. I didn't want to conform to the norm so I wrote I wanted to be a nurse. (But later I found out that I will faint at the sight of blood so no Ms Florence Nightingale job for me.)

When I was in secondary school, I wanted to join the police force. (Due to the influence of too much HK police drama series.) Hence I joined the NPCC in school. I got lazy in JC and the thought of becoming a police soon faded off.

I don't know when did I started to have this noble ambition. To be a full time housewife. Don't you dare laugh at me!! It's the toughest, underpaid, have to work 24/7 and unappreciated job. I remembered I once told my mum why I wanted to be a full time housewife. Because I don't want to miss any significant moment of my kids' growing up. I want to nurture them on my own. I also want to decorate the house I want it to be. Making sure my hubby wears ironed, clean clothes to work and returns home to warm, yummylicious dinner are my KPIs. With this ambition in mind, my decision to accept which job offer is crystal clear. It may be a more boring job, lesser room for advancement, but all these are not my priorities. My family, my hubby and my baby are. What is a few hundreds more compared to the time spent with the ones I love?

I wanna thank my hubby for all the support he has given me throughout this period. Be it emotionally, mentally or financially. He is not romantic, even though I big hint, small hint and even tell him directly I want a present on Mother's Day he still DIDN'T get me one... but he definitely loves me many many and will be there for me, always. I love my Silly, Lazy, Piggy Hubby :)

Happy Mother's Day!!

Celebrated Mother's Day yesterday at Carousel. It's my first Mother's Day being a mummy :D I'm happy to be able to celebrate this day with 2 other great mums!!

It has been a really long time since we last took a family photo. Especially with new additions, a family is a MUST during this joyous occasion :) This should be how my happy family should be like. As one grows older, I become more and more sentimental. Putting more weight on the people I love above any other things. I wish that my family stays this way with only new additions like wc's wife and more grandchildren. I want my no. 2 to be a baby girl!!! :X

LOVER Language (revisited)

After watching Pillow Talk (Channel 8, 9pm drama series), I suddenly 'remembered' the musical Hubby & I went to watch last year. Please see link below:

Summer 夏天: LOVER Language: Attended one of this event under Real Love Works 2011. It's night filled with songs, music, laughter and LOVE :) BB has nv been to watch a...

It is true that in many relationship, we forgot that we need to continue to deposit love after marriage. We only keep withdrawing the love we had saved up before marriage. Everyone has their preferred way to be love and to love. For me, I'm a bit greedy cos I love to be loved in every way :P

In order to sustain a relationship, even if one party knows how to talk the Lover language but the other party doesn't, it ends up one is depositing and the other withdrawing. The balance is zero. It takes 2 to tango, while you want your partner to love you, you need to love your partner too.

I know my hubby shower me with his love by helping me to do some household chores at times, he also takes note of what craving I have and bring me to eat or bring me out for movie when I need a movie therapy. If he could buy me little gifts to surprise me, that will be my bonus :D

I realized that my hubby is all I see (and our precious prince). I not longer check out cute guys or even notice them. I used to remember faces very well, even though I may not remember their names, but now, I didn't even bother to register their looks. They mean the world to me now.

To all my readers: Say the Lover language everyday. Keep the fire burning. And stay blissful :)

Job Search

I have been searching for a job ever since I was on confinement. Until now, I have no luck in securing a job :( I've been to 3 interviews so far. 2 from the government sector and 1 from the pte. The first one all seems to be going well until they told me that they going to relocate to Jurong!! I nearly fainted on the spot. Sigh... The 2nd one is like a boring job. Although the title says Manager but I have no kah kias to do the ground work for me. I have to do everything from A-Z myself! The Manager is to manage the accounts, not staff. The 3rd interview was yesterday. I was so desperately in need of a job, I just spam my resumes at any job offer which I fits the requirement last week. And this company called me up for interview. All was going well again when thunder struck me again :( As pte companies are very different from govt, one don't get to knock off on time. The interviewer stressed that I will have to commit a lot of time and effort on the job. With my newborn, would I be able to commit such hours to build up my career? I know I can't bear to leave my precious at home and chiong my career. I just need a job to get some supplementary income. Getting far and moving up is not my concern now. I need a job that provides stability and enables me to have work-life balance. A govt job fits the bill perfectly. But so far no luck on that. Or they are simply too slow in processing.... They can be as slow as waited until 2 months later then inform you that you are hired! But I cannot leave that to chance. What if I'm not hired? I just need to continue searching.

Something which the interviewer said yesterday made me really upset. She's just one year older than me. But earning many times more than I do. She posted me a question, "Did you find that you are being underpaid by drawing a pay of $3700 previously?" Of cos I did. But it's a trade-off. While I spent 6 years in the govt sector I get to knock off on time at 6 and enjoy life outside work. Whereby my peers are still slogging away in office. But 6 years later, I'm still nothing whereby they have already reached their peak in their careers like becoming AVPs, Senior Managers, etc. They traded their time to achieve these and now they get to enjoy the fruit from their hard work when they are young. Somehow I had the feeling that I had chosen the wrong career path back then. Wasting 6 years of my time in achieving nothing. My working experience is worth nothing and I can't get any job. Not even back in the govt sector.

The only and best thing which happened to me from choosing to work in the govt sector is that I have my doting hubby and lovely son now. So what do I want in life? Is is true that we cannot have a blissful family and be a high achiever in our career? If I really have to choose between the 2, I will still choose my family. So now, even if I have to suffer a heavy pay cut to secure a job, I'll still take it. With all the expenses a child needs and our flat coming soon, everything needs money. I don't need a lot, just enough for everything essential, I'm contented. Buddha, Jesus, Allah, all the Gods and deities, please please let me ace the next interview and bring back the dough soon. I mean real soon...

Date Night

It's been a long time since Hubby and I went par tor. Ever since the arrival of our prince, 99.9% of our time was dedicated to him. Rare chance like this is hard to come by. It's the first time we actually did planning for our date. Haha. We book tickets for the movie and made reservation at the restaurant. All was left was just to look forward to it :)

Took this on my way to meet hubby. I look so slim from the reflection. Haha. It's just so deceiving....

Hubby says he looks yan dao in this photo so asked me to post this.

Dinner was at Modesto's. Regretted eating so much of this bread :( End up I couldn't finish the main dish...

White wine for Hubby & Sangria for me :)

Salmon Pizza. It's gooood.... Recommended.

This is even better!! Their signature linguinie. This is 1 pax portion but like a big only!!

We ate and we chatted. Love the twosome moments. After dinner was movie. We watched The Vow, chosen by me :D The storyline was based on a true story. Predictable storyline but pretty touching. Hubby commented that if he's the male lead, he would have gone crazy if that were to happen to us. He also said that he might not have as much patience as the guy to win back his wife's heart. It would be so scary if I were to wake up and don't remember my hubby and my prince... Oh no!!!

Hubby says we should do this once a month :D I agree. After having kids, couples should still have some couple time to enhance the relationship and reconnect. Sometimes we are too overwhelmed by work stress and kids, we lost the passion. It takes effort and energy to keep the fire burning and fall in love with each other again and again. I'm glad my hubby thinks the same way as me. I know this time round, I'm going to be very very very blissful...

Motherhood

10 weeks into my motherhood. I'm still recovering from the shock. LOL! Baby is doing great and starting to gugu-gaga with me :) He's also smiling more often now.

Brought him to KKH for his checkup on Monday. He actually smiled so sweetly at the female doctor. He's my boy indeed! Actually know how to charm girls with his mesmerizing smile at such a young age. Haha! He weighs 5 kg now. Doubled his weight in 2 months time. How times flies and how fast he grows!!

I enjoyed bathing him every morning. Something I'm gonna miss when I go back to work :( I just feel so happy every time when I see him enjoying his SPA session. He always bathe until didn't want to come out of the tub.

Being a mum myself now made me appreciate my mum more. She used to tell me, "Wait till you are a mum yourself then you'll know." Now I really know. The sacrifices mums make for their children is nothing can be compared de. I'm amazed with myself that I can actually sleep so little every night taking care of him. Some nights I only got to sleep 2-3 hours.

Seems like I can't finish this post ncely again. He's making a fuss again :( 

Ripple Bay - The Ultimate Beachfront Living!!

Property Guide 101: Last call to all interested buyers!!!

Property Guide 101: Last call to all interested buyers!!!: NEW Launch @ Pasir Ris!! 679 units 99 years leasehold TOP: Apr 2016 Attractive prices!! 1BR 484-614 sqft from $4xxK 2BR 764-1055 sqft from...

No Longer JUST ME

I haven't been blogging for 9 months. My longest record ever for not blogging. I bet my readers have long forgotten about me too. My bad. I was too busy, too tired, too lazy.... Just when I'm writing this post, my little precious is making a lot of fuss and I have to continue the next day. Yap, I'm married and given birth to my handsome prince.

We tied the knot on 30 Oct 2011

My prince was born on 1 Feb 2012

So with them in my life, it's no longer JUST ME now. I have my 2 precious Mckys :) Too many things had happened during this period, I seriously don't know where should I start or what should I blog about. I thought of a lot of stuff I wanted to blog on but they are simply too random and has no link to each other or I'll take another 9 mths to finish writing them all. Haha. Let's just leave it just there and start a fresh ba. I heard someone saying, "You lazy ass!!" But seriously, it's far too tedious to do so. Please forgive me for being away for so long.

Actually another reason why I didn't update my blog is also because of the heavy duty usage of my Facebook account. A picture says a thousand words. So my FB albums tells the story of my life through the photos I uploaded.

With the new responsibilities, I've lost the luxury to blog and rant about my boring life. I kind of miss the time I sat in office, read other's blogs and update my blog every morning before I start work. Sipping my hot teh-C.

It's not that I don't like or enjoy my life now. It's just different now. Going through another stage in life. A stage which I still cannot believe I'm in now. Haha. Sometimes I would look at my son and still in a state of 'shock' that I'm a mother now. But I'm already 30. If not now then when?

My darling son is throwing tantrum again... got to go! Till the next time folks!