A chain of unhappy events happened lately and I think I'm the cause of it all? Cos I mind too much abt the past and emo over silly things... but in a way, I got to know more things which is really sweet....
The recently incident involved a f*cking bear (which is on my most hated list). He bought it for his ex yrs ago when they were tgt. I told him I feel uneasy seeing the bear and I dun like it. So he kept it somewhere. But still, I dun like the idea tat he still keeps it! So I wanted him to get rid of it. Den his way of getting rid of it was to keep it somewhere out of my sight. But he suay suay kanna seen by me when I was looking for a box to store my stuff. I juz felt like tearing it apart into a million pieces. But I din. I asked him why. He told me that he seems to hav a special affiliation with it. It's like a fren to him. A fren which doesn't speak. But how to expect me to accept that? When I clearly knows what kind of history tat piece of junk has and the kind of memories he shared with her n tat trash. Of cos I was really furious and upset. He even wanted me to be understanding towards him keeping the damn thing. No way I can accept it. I swear I will tear it apart n burn it. He threw it away unwillingly. So unwillingly. It juz made me even furious. The anger I had was difficult to control. It's so difficult for him to part with it, so will it be easier for him to part with me den? It's silly to compare myself with a god damn f*cking non-living thing. But how humiliating it is to feel less treasured than it? So I went into disappearing act for a day. I suspended my FB account and went into hiding. Ignoring his calls n smses. It was to make him feel the hurt. So which is more unbearable? But am I any better off when I clearly know I still love him and want to be wif him more than anything else. So I played a little 'game' with him. I told him if he can appear before me by a stated time, I'll give him another chance.
He was late. But I waited. I know he'll appear. He did. 15 min late.
After some arguments, blah blah blah.... we kissed and make up. He told me something which really touches me.
"Next time when you get angry with me, can you think of why you fall in love with me in the first place? Cos I do that everytime."
Everytime he got angry with me, it would be for the split second. He'll always gets gentle cos he thut of why he loves me in the first place? And got he all softened....
This morning I reactivated my FB and saw his posting,
"Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish now.."
I asked him wat he would wish for. He said,
"wish for my bao bei to be happy with me!"
It's really sweet. It melts my heart. I'm such a silly girl.....
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