Emo emo... watched Ghost of Girlfriend's Past and made me emo.. haiz.. was having movie withdrawal syndrome yest so dragged Deardear to go watch movie wif me. Nice movie but left me saded... haiz... influx of unwanted memories.... :(

Deardear tried to sayang me. But turned out making me more upset... I tried not to tear in front of him. Strong ger cnt cry. Having a tough time holding back my tears. He dun like his lady to be so weak emotionally. But it's tiring to hold back unhappy emotions, burying/swallowing them in. I wanted to talk abt it last nite. But he asked me to go slp, cutting me off. He dropped me a gd morning email but I hav yet to reply. I dunno wat to reply. Certain things r better to be said face-to-face.

I'm like getting more n more emo after each r/s. Leaving me scarred all over. Old n fresh wounds. Wounds healed n bleed again. Like wat I told Kor, having someone new juz lessen the pain. the wound will always be there. there's no way to escape from it.

The fear is still there. Yes, going wif the flow. Tat's wat i'm doing now but doesn't mean I no longer feel e fear in me....