Apart from the bfast which brightened up my day, TT gave me morning call today :) suppose to come at 6.30am but he onli called at 7am which I'm already awake n showered le.. but still I'm happi to hear his voice n taste his sweetness to call me in e morning *blush* little butterfly inside me...
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Last nite finalli got to watch e long ovedued movie - Confession of a Shopaholic. A whole gang of 5 of us, Sally, Ah Dar, Neal, TT & me. U'll noe why Sally poise wif e fan if u had watched e movie :) Had a nice laugh. A very girlie show. Guys might not appreciate it ba. kekeke....
TT & I reached early for the movie. He was wearing specs last nite. I'm like gosh... went all weak. If u noe me long n well enuff, I hav weakness for guys in specs since young. I dunno why lo. It's not a fetish, not so R21, juz tat I find guys in specs r cute n will make me go weak in my knees. Total go ga-ga over specky guys. opps... Wat's more is tat e one wearing specs is my TT. Aww... 有被电到的感觉 *shy* I tink things r going pretty smoothly wif TT n feeling e sweetness in me everyday. Smiling to myself like an idiot everyday, thinking of him. Ok, I tink I'm too toxicated here. Better keep my cool. haha...
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Somehow I feel bad towards JW. Though we were nv tgt. Now I'm like totally over him le. I feel like such a ***** switching target so fast. But e thing is, I tink I hav given him enuff chances in e past 2 mths. If he cnt even sustain my interest for more than 2 mths, i dun tink we r suitable to be together. The most critical part, he dun make me hav butterflies in my stomach. I noe this sounds like a realli jerky excuse, but I tell myself, no way I'm going to let his special guy slip thr my fingers. U dun meet ppl who give u butterflies everyday rite? In my 27 yrs, he's e onli one. For tat, I'm willing to take e risk n make more effort to know him better n let him know me better :) I'm sorry JW. I hav told him tat when it all started. Since he dunno how to treasure his chances, I dun tink he's worth my keep. B*tch slap me if u wan to. I'm so into my Mr Butterfly now.
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I hav reflected over my actions for the past 8 mths. I hav allow myself to let loose for long enuff. No more griefing n crying. I know it's stupid. I thut I'm ok n totalli over it. But I'm not. Drowning myself in alcohol n stuff. I'm oso like so desperately wanna find a companion which clouded my vision. After e hrs of crying last Thu, it clears e cloud. I've been such a sore loser. Juz bcos he found someone else, I wanna find someone FAST to prove to him tat he dun wan I still cn find someone who does, fast. This is so naive n stupid of me. Wat is there to prove? It onli made myself look even more pitiful. As if he's gonna be affected by it. Duh~
When TT says takes things slowly, I'm cool wif it. Cos I tink so too. No pt rushing into things den to realise we r not meant to be tgt n go thr e heartache n stuff again. I'm enjoying e knowing process n not harboring any expectations. I'm glad I cried it all out tat nite n my Sally dear is there to wake me up frm her scoldings. Pls dun blame urself anymore k? I choose not to tell anyone. Thanks for e encouragement to go for it. No hope, no expectation, juz enjoy e process n be happie :) I'm doing tat now.
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