I know many others out there are gng thr worst pain than I am. But this is the worst I've felt in my 20 odd yrs. I'm like a walking zombie, trying to be happy & forcing myself to be happy. I felt e liberation when I decided to forgive him. But tat does not mean e heart dun ache once in a while.... sigh.... sometimes I cn juz lose my cool for no reason. Feeling all pek chek for nothing. Gng thr some roller coaster emotions. There's even some pt I feel like walking out of office n run in e rain. I no longer has e drive to work or do anything. There's like nothing to look forward to everyday. Juz waiting for each day to pass. I've moved out for 2 mths now. How time flies n how things changed. Who is there to witness my life? The man is no longer there. The divorce papers stirred my hidden emotions. And he's like got 6th sense tat I've received e draft and asked me for a copy. I read thr e details, every word juz pierce thr my heart. Certain things I cnt write here cos my dearies will be so worried n I'll get hell from my mother. I noe they all meant well, but tat's wat keeping me gng all these while. I feel like throwing everything n go for a long break overseas. But given the current market, how to? Ppl r fearing of losing their job n here I wan to throw away everything... Work cn no longer keep my mind occupied. I kept having e urge to run to e rooftop to let e wind blow onto my face. To blow away my sorrows. Bring them away with e wind. Being a strong ger is tiring. There r times I realli feel like giving up. Who is there to pull me up n lead me far away from all these unhappiness? Take me by my hand n walk by my side. Brg me to a pl where there's no heartaches.

So many times I hav e light headed feeling. Like I'm floating. OR I'm gng to faint? Too tired of putting up e strong front. Too tired not to tink abt wat happened. Too tired trying to brush away every unhappy thuts. Too tired of everything. Tat's why how ppl go into depression?

我真的很累了。谁来带我离开这伤心地？