Talked to my fren n cried. She asked me a few qns and some were realli hard to ans.

HER: "How are you feeling now?"
ME: "A mixture of feelings. Angry, upset, guilty, wasted..."

HER: "Wat was is tat u angry abt?"
ME: "How cn he treat me like tat? How cn he juz turn his back n go?"

HER: "Why upset?"
ME: "When I tink of those happy memories n upset why things turned out like this now."

HER: "Why guilty?"
ME: "Bcos of the wrong things I've done."

HER: "Wat have u done for urself to make urself happy?"
ME: "..... I cnt tink of any....."

HER: "Wat makes u happy?"
ME: "When I do thing for him which makes him happy."

HER: "Did you do them cos u feel u need to do tat?"
ME: "No. Cos seeing him happy n I will be happy."

HER: "Did u tell him tat? Does he noes? U cnt juz keep doing things for other ppl to make them happy. If 1 day tat person is no longer there, u'll feel lost n dunno how to make urself happy. U have to learn to love urself n make urself happy."
ME: "......."

HER: "We r not pointing finger at who's at fault now. But when unhappiness happens do u talk abt it?"
ME: "I talked abt it but he din do anything to resolve it. He din see it as a prob."

HER: "But do u noe wat's bothering him? Did u ask?"
ME: "I did. But he nv said anything so how am I suppose to noe wat I did wrong?"

HER: "Do u wan to salvage e marriage?"
ME: "I wan to but.... there bound to be scars n things wld nv be the same again."

HER: "Then do u tink u will be happy?"
ME: "I might be worse off....."

HER: "Yes, u might be even more miserable n then to find out it still din worked out. We all noe it will fade, it's juz a matter of time. Telling u not to tink abt it will not help cos u will still tink. Face it. Face it bravely n u'll overcome it. It's not easy but if u dun face it, it will always be there. Do sometime tat makes urself happy. Not for anyone else but for urself. I noe it's easier said then done. Though others might go thr e similar situation as u but it will nv be e same. Cos it's e diff feelings, diff person, etc. We cn be here for u but everytime telling u e same thing it's not gng to help anything. Dun dig e hole deeper then buried urself in it. U'll die. Everytime u survived a setback, it'll just makes u stronger."

She said a lot n I cried a lot. I have too many qns wif no ans but will it do any help if I noe e ans to e qns now? Does it change anything? NO. But why do I still wan to noe? I oso dunno why actualli. Sigh.

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I cldn't resist n still go n ask him who gave him e ring. He said he bought it himself. Wanted to ask him why? But does e ans mean anything? Why do I want to ask tat? I oso dunno :(